Ego, Buddhism, and A Cookbook

Just after yesterday’s first new post I received the news that Pat McCaffrey passed away. I’m not ready to talk about that yet, so I’ll share a post about a book in one of my collections, which has also served as a lesson to me in  taming my ego,  practicing humility, and letting go of attachments. ( I didn’t say these things have happened yet.) I have  a number of Gertrude Stein books, and this one by Alice B Toklas as well.  At almost 74 as a new retiree and buddhist, I am trying  to detach from my collections of things. So I’m struggling with this. I thought of sending it to Barbara Hamby. If Barbara outlives me, please send it to her, son. My dear  expatriate friend Judy , has schooled herself in frenchie cooking and doesn’t need it.

The Frangipani tart.

This cookbook is probably the most charming cookbook I’ve ever read. Alice had it published in 1954.  Gertrude passed away in 1946, of stomach cancer but I’m sure it was not from Alice’s cooking . Anywho… as Pat would say… It has a tart recipe in it, that I imagined  Barbara Hamby would like and I thought I’d send her the book even though we don’t  know each other.  But then I decided that not only was that an ego driven thought,  after rereading it I’m just not yet ready to let it go. 

This is Bilignin, where the two ladies spent summers.

I have been studying buddhism since about 2016 and in March I went to the Jacksonville KTC because Lama Karma was giving a medicine buddha empowerment and seeing those of us who were ready to take refuge. I had developed a desire to receive teaching from Lama Karma, who after two, three years long pujas, got married and is now a father! This delights my need to defy authority, walk my own dharma path, and made me worry less that buddhist teachers might lack the ability to survive after running away from a monastery because they were so sheltered and thus not my correct choice in gurus. Not Lama Karma, of course! He is still very active at KTD in Woodstock. I hope to see him again.

For those of you unschooled in the special buddhist lingo, taking refuge  is something like Confirmation in the Episcopal Church, but it involves white scarves instead of  overly starched and impossibly itchy  smocked dresses, hats that fall off during the first lesson, 

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a tart recipe

white gloves, and bunny fur hand muffs! 

Of course, in my excitement I was ready to convince all my friends this is the best spiritual practice of all and it should be investigated. I then discovered that evangelism is frowned upon in buddhism.  Thus, I try hard to be private and humble about my practice. Is it working?

At any rate, here’s the recipe along with illustrations which were drawn  by Francis Rose. I can’t describe how much I love this charming cookbook ..Maybe Barbara will see this post and make a Frangipani tart. But I’m not evangelizing, or trying to impress and bond with a famous poetess! Really…. Oh wait, I’m even doing that with Diane Seuss.  And despite being friends with my dear friend Julie, she won’t accept my friend request….

It will take the rest of my life to neutralize my ego, I’m afraid. But I’m pretty sure the path to enlightenment is meant to last a lifetime. I’m sure I would be even more insufferable if I could achieve it next week…